Posts Tagged ‘Rambling’

The Fire Hydrant Habit: Does Your Communication Sabotage Your Power?

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010 by Connie Dieken

Consider the fire hydrant’s purpose. Your neighborhood fire plug lets firefighters tap into the municipal water system to extinguish a fire. They attach a hose to the cast iron hydrant, screw open a valve and whoosh, out comes a powerful flow of water.  Simple enough.

But have you ever considered how you might be using a fire hydrant habit when you communicate? Someone requests the communication equivalent of a sip of water but instead, you screw open a hydrant… and flood them with too much information.

Perhaps you launch into long-winded explanations when you’re asked simple questions. Maybe you send e-mails two screens long with five attachments. Perhaps you leave voice mails so lengthy that you get cut off by the beep.

If so, people are having frustrating experiences communicating with you and it’s damaging your credibility.  People are probably avoiding communicating with you as a result.  They see your name on caller ID and let it go to voice mail. They ignore your emails.  They interrupt you constantly during presentations, meetings and other face-to-face interactions.

If you’re getting these outcomes, it’s time to stop the flow of blah, blah, blah. Here are a few ways to do it:

  • Think portion control
  • Aim for clarity, not confusion
  • Answer questions first, justify them second
  • Use shorter sentences
  • Send succinct, frontloaded e-mails
  • Use bullets instead of run-on sentences
  • Use visuals instead of text whenever possible
  • Present info narrow and deep, not wide and shallow
  • Be aware of the effect you have on people

Like a dieter counting calories, put yourself on a communication diet. We must all re-learn what a proper serving size is in today’s world where we’re bombarded with communications 24/7.

Once you overcome the fire hydrant habit, you’ll see that others seek your input and stay tuned in when you talk. Just as importantly, people will happily park themselves within six feet of you without the fear of being soaked by a data dump.

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Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Presentation Skills | No Comments »

How to Communicate with An Interrupter

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 by Connie Dieken

It appeared to be an ambush worthy of the Kayne West Seal of Approval.  Recently, an Academy Award winner was rudely interrupted mid-acceptance by a woman who appeared to big foot her way into his big moment. More than 41 million telecast viewers were confounded. Twitter and Facebook erupted with news of “the interrupter.”

Turns out, the interrupter was no interloper.  She was his co-winner. Tangled in a credit-hogging turf war, the two had raced to the stage to get in the first word. He ran a lot faster. As she burst onto the glittering platform, she hijacked the microphone and cut him off before clutching her shiny statuette.

What does this case of communication-interruptus have to do with you?

Chances are someone has rudely interrupted you in the last 24 hours, if not the last 24 minutes.  Interrupting is escalating. Cutting people off and talking over them has become the new norm in our demanding, impatient, instant gratification world.  The Academy Award scene is playing out everywhere – in boardrooms, meeting rooms, lunchrooms, phone calls, even on Capitol Hill. Everybody wants to get a word in edgewise.

Isn’t it frustrating to be plowed over by someone who thinks the only voice worth listening to is his own?  Beyond simple rudeness on the part of some communicators, I’d like to offer a few possibilities on why more people are cutting you off, how to prevent it, and how to handle those relentless, habitual interrupters.

Why it’s happening

Face it, some people are rude.  But these old school interrupters are now joined by a new breed of interrupters: The Chronically Impatient.  Buoyed by instant technology and addicted to speed, these pragmatic people are having a tough time tolerating long winded ramblers. The Chronically Impatient value time, clarity, and action and they want you to get to the point, pronto. If you dilly dally, they’ll either nudge you with a brief interjectory question or they’ll outright overpower you and butt in as if your words don’t matter.

How to prevent it

  • Sound confident. If you speak with conviction, people are more likely to show their respect by listening instead of dismissing your ideas and talking over you.
  • Don’t be long winded. Lengthy explanations invite interruptions, so get to your point quickly. One technique I lay out in Talk Less, Say More is to frontload your messages to meet people’s specific needs and values. Busy people want you to convey brief, meaty ideas so they can get back to the gazillion others things on their to-do lists.
  • Don’t hog the floor. Sometimes people interrupt because it’s the only way they feel they can get a word in edgewise. Do you dominate discussions? If so, that may induce interruptions. Watch for signals and be aware of when others want to contribute.
  • Stop speed talking. If you’ve ever received feedback that you’re a fast talker, chances are you’re often interrupted. Why? After all, you’re talking as fast as you can. Bingo. Some people can’t digest what you’re saying at a high rate of speed, so they cut in to catch up.

How to handle interrupters

Managing interrupters is situational.  The first step is to figure out why people are cutting in.  Are they rude or are you inadvertently inviting interruptions? If you feel it’s the other person’s fault, here are a few options to handle the situation:

  • The polite but firm “right back at ya.” Sometimes you must return the dirty deed with a polite retort, saying something like, “Excuse me, Debbie, but I didn’t get to finish.  I’d like to add that…”
  • The private chat. If a problem persists, privately inquire, “Did you realize that you frequently interrupt me? Is there something I can do to help solve the issue?” Often, pragmatic people are used to being rewarded for being a contributor and they have no idea they’re hurting your feelings.
  • Establish meeting rules. In some office cultures, meetings are a free-for-all. If enough people are upset, why not work out a system for taking turns?  Allot a time limit and seek contributions from everyone.  If people know they’ll have an opportunity to talk, they’re more likely to wait their turn.
  • Keep right on talking. Dealing with a relentless interrupter who just won’t stop?  The unconventional, last ditch approach of forging ahead with your sentence and adding more volume delivers a jarring and unmistakable message. It conveys that you’re sick of being rudely interrupted and you’re just not taking it anymore.

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Posted in Communication Skills | 11 Comments »

The Less is More Lesson

Saturday, June 27th, 2009 by admin

mark-sanfordYou heard about the married politician caught trysting with his girlfriend in Argentina. On the day he was caught returning from his fun in the sun, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford held a hasty, free association press conference at the statehouse to drop the bomb.

Three words for you, Governor Sanford:  Less is more.

His rambling admission of guilt was devastatingly wordy and bizarre.  He dithered on about his love of hiking.  He blathered about “sparking” with his “dear, dear friend” in Buenos Aires.  At last, he meandered into a confession.  After finally admitting to philandering, the governor presented his priorities wrong.  He tearfully apologized for hurting his girlfriend before he expressed regret that his shameful behavior had damaged his wife and sons, and that he’d done the citizens of South Carolina wrong during his six-day disappearing act.

The governor showed us how not to meet the press.

As a leader, Sanford’s wordy discourse was far too long and misdirected.  He needed to talk less and say more.

I hope you’ll never experience a moment of truth quite like this one in your career.  However, as a leader you will be called upon to influence the thoughts and actions of others.  Here are a few tips to help you influence intentionally:

  • Don’t confuse talking with influencing. Most leaders think influence means showing up and giving a speech.  They want to look good, sound intelligent, and come across as well as possible.  However, the real goal of  influence is to move people to commit to action. That means touching hearts and minds, not merely talking your way out of (or into) something.
  • Don’t shoot for a quick fix. It’s not the short game that matters – it’s the long game. The Governor will learn this over the coming months as he’s judged by his constituents, citizens and family.  A hastily arranged  press conference (or meeting) solves nothing.  When attendees are caught off guard,  they can’t fully process the information you dump on them, which means that you’ve merely delayed the final outcome.
  • Move people in the direction you desire. Communicate with purpose.  Not just because you believe that a communication of some sorts is called for.  The Governor was too quick on the trigger to address the media.  His goal should have been to get the story out of the news, not to get tongues wagging and create even more drama.
  • Cut the distractions. Did you see the young faces behind the governor as he spoke?  They were smiling broadly as he choked up.  How weird.  Be aware of your surroundings during leadership communications – or make sure that someone else is watching out for you.
  • Keep it brief and simple. The key to communication in the 21st century is brevity.  Attention spans are collapsing. Demands on time are increasing. Master the complex business of simplicity. If you blather on, you risk losing people’s attention…and their respect.

Sanford’s Wall Street wife was far more succinct.  Her statements to the press have been pithy, if  a bit understandably passive-aggressive. So far, she’s winning the oh-so-polite war of words for public support.

Leadership communication is about aligning people to influence their thoughts and actions. I encourage you to be purposeful about communicating with influence.  Take time to distill your message instead of being long-winded.  In today’s world, saying less is truly more.

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Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills | 2 Comments »